Randomness re: motherhood

It's not that bad.

I think that I was dreading the first two weeks more than the birth itself, and I have to say: it's not that bad. I'm pretty pleased to find that out. Perhaps I was just dreading it so much that anything is better than I imagined, but whatever, I'll take it. My professional specialty is pediatrics, so when my colleagues would go off and have babies I was always surprised to hear them say that it was SO HARD and SO MUCH WORSE than they ever thought. I always thought, "Are you kidding? We work with infants, kids and parents every day. How can it be so foreign to you?" For me, it's not all that foreign. Of course, I am responsible for Gray 24/7, instead of a 20 minute appointment, but still. The same techniques that worked with my patients work with him. I have had a couple of late night moments that I am not proud of (where I am just too tired to deal anymore) but overall we are coping just fine.

As everybody says, the hardest part is the lack of sleep. Going from 9 hours a night down to 5ish is rough. But it is manageable, knowing that it does get better. If I made more of a point to nap during the day I would probably feel more rested, but I have had a kajillion things to get done lately and napping was just not a priority. If I have a couple more productive days I will have a much more relaxing week come Monday.

As for Gray himself... he is yummy. I am really looking forward to the day where he can smile at me, instead of the confused, open mouthed, baby bird stare that I am getting lately. It is an amazing feeling to know that I, of all people, can comfort him the best. If he is complaining in his dad's arms, the simple act of being handed to me calms him right down. He seems relatively mellow, so far, and my only complaint is that he cannot seem to soothe himself to sleep- he insists on being held. Which really isn't the worst thing, holding a warm, cuddly baby!