Lovely

We got back from Arizona yesterday and just had the best time. It was so good being around my parents, my sister and her kids... and I love that P. is so comfortable and so accepted in my family. The weather was dreary (which was fine with me!) so we went for a couple of walks, cooked and worked on cleaning out my grandma's place. It was pretty cleaned out but there were several drawers of papers and pictures that needed sorting. So I took that job on, since I am rather OCD about organization. I managed to sort and throw away a bunch of stuff so my mom and cousin have more manageable piles to get through now. Selfishly, I also wanted to do it because I got to see a lot of stuff I might not have otherwise seen. The thing that stands out in my mind is a scrap book given to my great-grandfather's younger sister in 1893. It had some really great clippings and poetry in it and it was so cool to see. We also got to pick what we wanted out of my grandma's collections and jewelry. So I came home with a lot of old pictures, some jewelry and an heirloom ring that is really beautiful. Otherwise, Thanksgiving dinner was FABULOUS (turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn casserole, glazed carrots, polka dot pie, pumpkin pie and apple crisp) and we played a really hilarious game of Scrabble. For the most part, Gray was good. It's tough to watch a baby when you are not at home; the world is filled with corners and hard floors. But we had help and he was adored by all.

The best parts of the holiday: walking into my grandma's house and smelling "her smell" and going to church. Shocking, but true.

So we are home and now looking towards Christmas. We went to get a tree today and will probably decorate it tomorrow. I am working diligently to get the Xmas gifts out the door by mid-month so I won't be standing in long lines at USPS and getting stressed about arrival dates! We will be on our own for Xmas this year and I am kind of looking forward to it. Not sure exactly what the day will be like but I suppose we'll see!

The other thing that is weighing on my mind right now is dieting. I have gotten P to agree to work with me on this project and we have both agreed that we would like to lose 30 lbs. This is HUGE, since it is so much easier to do this with someone else. I already find that I am more honest about watching points when I know that he is doing it too. My (rather unrealistic) goal is to take off at least 20 lbs by Gray's birthday- March 6th. I have a list as long as my arm about why I want to do this but for some reason I cannot remember ANY of those reasons when I am about to shove something (usually chocolate) in my mouth! The list looks like this: will have more energy, back won't hurt, will be more healthy, will fit into 95% of my clothes again, don't have the funds to buy new clothes, cannot stand to look at a picture of myself, want a family picture taken but refuse to be in it... etc etc... It's so sad and so stupid. I pick up Gray and think "OOF! This kid is SO HEAVY!" but in reality he is about 2/3 of what I need to lose. That is insane! I keep wondering, what will my wakeup moment be? What is it going to take for me to finally get this done? The alternative is to quit worrying about it, buy bigger clothes, and throw out a TON of cute stuff. Which really isn't an alternative, as far as I'm concerned. So where is the disconnect? I wish I knew.

In other news... we had a plumber out last week to diagnose the problem with our drain. $500 later and he had fixed a pipe and a valve... but not the damn drain. Apparently we are going to have to have the entire concrete tray replaced and the whole thing will be about $1000. Hurray. The kitchen is totally falling apart and a piece of me dies a little every time I have to go in that room. The stove/oven works intermittently, the dishwasher is dead, the disposal is a mess, every time I turn around Gray is chewing on or tearing up the linoleum... yeah. It sucks. It is so sad that we have done so much to this house and yet we still have plenty to do. I guess this is what we get buying a home built in 1962, eh?

I also had to go to a memorial service for a friend's child last week. Suffice it to say, there were plenty of tears. My heart breaks for her.

I have been thinking lately about trying to post more, maybe get back to my goal of once per week? Maybe I'll start that next week...

Yawn... bedtime...