Last Time, This Time

• Last time the first four months of Gray's life felt like FOUR YEARS. This time it's going so fast.
• Last time nursing made me feel a little... trapped. This time I could nurse all day and not care or notice.
• Last time I was freaked out about pumping and saving milk. This time I have pumped ONCE to date, and I love it that way.
• Last time I wanted Gray out of our room by six weeks. This time Eli could sleep in my room until he was 10 and I wouldn't care.
• Last time I counted the days until I could get Gray on a sleep schedule. This time I know we'll get there in due time and I'm not worried about it.
• Last time I would get SO ANGRY when I was woken up in the middle of the night five times. This time I don't care so much, knowing these sleepless nights are numbered.
• Last time I remember counting the months down until I could be done nursing. This time I keep thinking, "only X more months?" and wondering if I should nurse Eli longer.
• Last time I remember guiltily thinking that a night away from the baby might not be so bad. This time I think I will be heartbroken when I have to leave my boys to fly for work.
• Last time I was so eager to reach every milestone. This time I wish I could stop time and keep Eli small forever.
• Last time I was so good about remembering to change his pants every couple of hours. This time, not so much. (Sorry, E!)
• Last time I thought hauling a carseat around was SUCH a hassle. This time I know that hauling a 2 year old around is the true hassle and a carseat is nothing to complain about.
• Last time I made sure I had bottles with me if I had to feed the baby in public. This time I use my fancy cover-up and go for it.
• Last time Phil and I shared every little task- diapers, feeding, bathing. This time I do most of it since he is usually tending to Gray... and I don't mind.

I would never have said that I had a difficult maternity leave the last time around- in fact, I remember enjoying it very much. But this time is even better. I'm so lucky, and believe me, I count my blessings every day.