Disconnect

I am worried.

I am worried that I will not feel connected to this baby. I am worried that I will not be able to nurse. I am worried that I will have crippling post-partum depression. As the time gets closer, I am dreading the whole thing more and more and I find myself wondering "WHAT did I just do to my life?" I know, everyone says it gets better and lots of people have these same fears. I wish I could be one of those people who look at the upcoming birth of their child with wonder and anticipation. I look at it with dread, and it makes me so, so sorry. And sad.

I had to get that off my chest.